i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
