One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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