I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
well you can't waste a boner
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize