is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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