I wish I only lived at night.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
