We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
