Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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