He disabled his match.com account in front of me
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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