is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
