We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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