I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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