its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just found puke in my bra..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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