i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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