Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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