My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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