I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
