If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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