I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
