i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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