Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
