he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
