My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
