I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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