I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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