Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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