3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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