I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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