before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
