Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
