i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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