is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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