im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
