I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
