She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
