Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
