There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize