I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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