I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
