Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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