Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
NoShamevember. You game?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
