is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize