its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
