Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The beer is more important than you right now.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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