uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
