I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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