I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
