I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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