youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You are the jesus of drinking
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
