If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
