at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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