I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
