Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think my moral compass just broke
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