You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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