You're completely useless in the revolution.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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