Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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