my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
