Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
