i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
