I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
