i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He felt like a one man threesome
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
