I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
