and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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