He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize