He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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