I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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