I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize