Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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