A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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