even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
