i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
