you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just high enough for therapy.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
