Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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